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For the older adults, remember the time when sex was considered a gift; a joyous expression as you will of the love two people had for one another. Men actually worked on cultivating relationships and this attitude of "if you don't give it to me, I'll find someone who will" didn't exist. Well those days are long gone and there have been plenty of porn, sexually explicit lyrics, sensual ads, sexually charged tv programs and movies that have contributed to the demise of those days. And while we can focus all day long on just those topics alone, I'll cover those at a later date. For now, we'll just discuss the ways sex is degraded and what we as women and men can do to preserve our purity for the perfect time, which according to God is within a covenant of marriage.
Sexual Pressure
Say you like someone and you notice that the intimacy level is pretty strong and headed toward sex. You hesitate while the other person pleads for your willingness to proceed. If you decide to cave in and have sex, what will the reason be? Anyone who hesitates or is unsure, really doesn't want it. So what is it? Will it be because you were afraid of how that person would react if you said no? Would you fear not being liked or the person choosing someone else based on your rejection for sex? Do you feel as though giving someone what they want equals them giving you what you want? If you answered yes to any of these, then you have to realize that this is a recipes for disaster right from the start. The first question you need ask yourself is, what does this person really want from me? You'll know if it's sex once you decline their offer because you'll be dropped pretty quickly. The second question you need to think about is, are the consequences worth the risk. Meaning, what if you give this person what he/she wants and they drop you anyway? Then what, which that is usually how it plays out. What if pregnancy or an STD occurs? Surely unless you're anticipating pregnancy, an STD is never a consequence worth risking. So know that when you're being pressured to have sex, it's ok to say no but it's best that the person know where you stand on sex from the beginning so that there is no confusion. Also, guard yourself. Infatuation leaves us open and vulnerable. Refuse to give someone your heart, unless they have given you theirs first.
Emphasis on the Manner and Not the Act
There's almost no such thing as making love anymore. At least if there is, not many seem to be practicing it. Years ago the trend was not to focus on the size of a man's package and just the motion in the ocean. Well women weren't buying it. And instead of sex being beautiful and explosive, it turned competitive. Women and men compared lovers and bragged on things he/she did and how great it was. Next came the emphasis on oral sex. And those that swore that if you weren't doing it the oral way, you missed out on something no one should miss out on. Now a sexual experience isn't complete unless it involves oral or anal. Now let me just say for those that are sexually mature when it comes to experiencing sex, you are burning yourself out. You are going to make it incredibly difficult for anyone to satisfy you and will end up living in adultery while married or living miserably single while bed hopping. You decide.
Finding Value in Sex
So what about the actual act makes sex valuable anyway? Well look at it this way. Sex involves your will, your emotions, your thoughts, your heart, your soul. You're giving the best part of who you are away and taking with you a piece of that person in the process. There's a soul and an actual person with feelings behind the physical exterior and can get damaged in the process. Sex may feel good and for a moment may fill your sexual appetite. But the destruction from it can last a lifetime. So be wise with your gift and no, it's never too late to wise up.
